


Act On The Light

by sapphiccats



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Death Eaters, Hogwarts Astronomy Tower, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Sad, Sad Sirius Black, The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, Werewolf Remus Lupin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 23:28:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29000721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphiccats/pseuds/sapphiccats
Summary: Sirius is feeling sad about his family and how the world perceive him as a Black. Remus goes up to the Astronomy Tower and talks to him about it.I DO NOT OWN THESE CHARACTERS
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 42





	Act On The Light

**Author's Note:**

> The speech Remus gives is actually one of Sirius’s lines in Order of the Phoenix but it seemed fitting and I liked the idea of Sirius imparting the wisdom to Harry after hearing it himself first. 
> 
> If there are any mistakes please comment and tell me :)
> 
> I do not support JKR

Remus awoke to the sound of a rather noisy owl outside the window. It was Athena - James’s bird - with a dead mouse dripping with blood. He stood up and opened the window to let the owl in and looked around the dorm to see if the others had been woken up. James could sleep through a battle field and Peter was furthest from the window so they both remained peaceful. 

The moonlight pooled on the closest bed and Remus gazed down on it. Sirius’s bed was worryingly empty and the sheets were strewn in a mess on the floor. 

Furrowing his brow in concern, Remus lent over his trunk and rummaged through it to get the Map. He drew his wand muttered the password to unlock it. Crimson ink seeped into the weathered parchment, revealing the castle and its inhabitants.After a quick scan of it, Remus saw that Sirius was sat upon the ledge of the Astronomy tower. Recently, since his departure from his family home, Remus had noticed he slept rarely and often went up to the tower to clear his head. 

He pulled a sweater over his head for he didn't want to catch a chill by going out in mid-November. Pocketing the Map, he grabbed his wand off of the night stand and tip-toed across to the door, not wanting to wake his friends. As he opened the door, it let out a long groan and Remus cursed it mentally. He climbed down the staircase and emerged in the common room.  House elves bustled around the room, cleaning and tending to the fires and litter than covered the space . Not wanting to attract any unnecessary attention, Remus slunk in the shadows, breathing as quietly as he could manage, until he reached the portrait of the Fat Lady and stepped out into the rest of the castle. 

Being a werewolf, his sight was heightened and he had no need to light his wand, instead clutching it to his side. Like a fox, he clung to the walls and the night in an attempt to stay concealed. A few corridors down, he could hear the yowls of Mrs Norris and prayed that the cat would not come this way. Another thing about his lycanthropy was that cats tended not to like him. Especially Filch's flea ball. Tonight was also not a great night to get caught out after curfew.

His socked feet pattered along the stone slabs of the corridors as he journeyed across Hogwarts. 

‘Typical Sirius,’ Remus thought, ‘ choosing the highest tower and the one furthest.’

Rasping breath and footsteps echoed through the corridor, as he plodded to his boyfriend. Hogwarts at night always had such an eerie feel to it; the portraits were asleep, not a person in sight, ghosts wafting around in the moonlight. A chill went down Remus's spine at the thought of it.

He glanced out the window - the moon was at a waning crescent and he was in the good week or so between moons when he felt his strongest. However, in the last moon he had dislocated his hip and it hadn't set right. It twinged as he crept along the stone corridors and his face was twisted with pain. He kept going. 

Finally, Remus reached the bottom of the winding staircase that led up to the astronomy tower. The banister was like an old friend to him and he clung onto it so he could regain his stolen strength. It was times like this when self-hatred coursed through his veins. He hated how disadvantaged he was and how he could barely walk across the school without breaking down. Remus pushed the thought aside and began to climb, using the railings for support. His hip screamed and writhed in agony with each step he took but he persevered in the name of helping Sirius. 

In that moment he couldn't believe how selfish he was being, wallowing in self-pity whilst his boyfriend was in need. Straightening his back he climbed the staircase with more vigour and doubled his speed - despite how much his hip cried in pain. After what felt like days of walking but was probably only ten minutes, Remus stepped out onto the floor of the astronomy tower. 

Telescopes and astronomical equipment lay in the corner and several books were gathering dust on a forgotten shelf. An intricate marble solar system was etched into the floor and Remus looked at it with admiration for its beauty. Howls of misery and anguish emanated from the windowsill, where a raven-haired boy sat sobbing, restored his focus and he padded over. 

“Sirius,” Remus whispered gently. 

No reply. He crept over and pulled his boyfriend into his chest, holding him tight.

"Sirius it's me, Moony. Are you okay?"

Sirius ignored the question and instead pointed to the sky,

"That star there is me, Sirius. Brightest star in the sky," He sniffled.

Remus turned to look at Sirius's face. His eyes were bloodshot from crying, tears streaked down his face and his usually pristine hair was a matted mess.

"As much as I would love to star gaze with you, I strongly doubt that your crying over the Dog Star. Now, what's wrong?" 

Remus grabbed Sirius's shoulders and pulled him into a tight hug, stroking his long, dark hair.

“What if they’re right. What if I am like them.” murmured the smaller boy in a timid voice. 

“Like who? Who’s been saying things. I swear I'll go beat the sh-”

“Remus! It's fine I- I just meant, what if I’m like my family. Everyone thinks I am - they see my name and file me as one of them. As a bigoted, pig-headed purist. _Toujours Pur_ or whatever. I don’t want to be but what if I- I am.” 

A sob shook Sirius’s body and he buried deeper into the warmth of Remus’s sweater. Remus could feel his tears soking through to his skin, but still he held his boyfriend close and breathed in the scent of his hair. After a few minutes, when the sobs had died down, Remus spoke.

“I want you to listen to me very carefully Sirius,” Remus said, lifting Sirius’s chin to look him in the eye. His normal, mischievous glint in his grey eyes was replaced with tears, fear and self-loathing. “You are not a bad person. You are a very good person, who has a bad family. Besides, the world isn’t split into good people and death eaters. We’ve all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are. Act on the light Sirius.”

Sirius gave a small smile and shaky laugh, “Why do you always have to be so good at this stuff. You always know what to say.”

“I read a lot,” Remus replied with a wry smile and looked up at the stars above him.

“I just wished that when people hear my name they don’t hear Black, you know. I need a new name.” Sirius said back and buried himslef deeper into Remus's chest.

“How does Lupin sound?” Remus replied and kissed Sirius on the forehead. 


End file.
